I look in the mirror and see a grownup version of myself. I’m ambivalent about that, as I’ve always wanted to retain youthful, ignorant innocence. But now, I am approaching a different kind of innocence – one tempered with wisdom.
The recent wave of hard knocks has gotten me off the path of beauty and creativity. I am finding my way back, as that is where life is teeming.
Through my “travels” life has taught me that we are not an island onto ourselves. I’ve never considered others reliable enough to endow my trust or time, but there truly is no other way to live – happily anyway. I must continue living as the Fool (as represented in the tarot deck) -- continuing to trust life and others, despite what past experience has shown.
I have to remind myself that everything we do is an expression of love or a cry for it. That is where our motives lie. I have been exercising my expression of love, as that is certainly more empowering than doing things to obtain it. Love is inherent, and I choose to remember that. The more love I give, the more I get. I’ve played the role of selfish and choose to play another. For me, being selfish is a symptom of fear. Fear that what I have will be taken from me – whether that’s peace of mind, comfort or security. But I choose to remember that my “glass” will always be replenished if I let go and allow it.
This is a very introspective post so far. Will take a break to work and may come back later ...
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