Seduction of Darkness

"Seduction of darkness, too strong to resist;
Every reason to succumb, nary one to subsist.

Light and laughter, a distant memory;
Replaced instead, by dread and drudgery.

A nightmare this is, choosing to wake up now;
Sight beyond illusion, will show me how."

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I keep having dreams of driving over overpasses and dying as I go over. The moment I realize I’m dead, I wake up. Significance? I don’t know.

I’m starting to feel like that character in Joe Versus the Volcano. Working under florescent lights, and dealing with the daily drudgery of existence. I look around at our economy and feel forced to feel grateful for what I have. Always compare to those less fortunate, right? But there’s got to be a better way than living by comparison. I want to live, leading with my heart and soul, but I’m afraid. So afraid. I see the men in my life; so good. But do the good die young? Does the good guy finish last? Is this truly a dog-eat-dog world? Is daring to trust foolhardy?

My reflection is of a woman I don’t recognize. Her light dim, and always running from shadows. Does age and experience really cause bitterness? Does the weather of time, really taint the spirit? I just want to weep. Weep for my son, weep for my regrets, weep for time lost; weep for the sorrows I see in my loved ones. I am weary and weathered. Is victory of this Earth? I think not.