Hooked on Youtube

Today would have been the big day; and although it saddens me that it’s put off yet again, I will continue to remain hopeful.

My mood, despite same and despite my lack of sleep, is decent. It got better once I spoke with a fellow photographer about this weekend’s trip. I’m sooooooo excited. This is a perfect diversion. I know I’m going to learn so much from the "big guys." My camera will certainly pale in comparison to those around me, but hey, a girl can dream and develop a wish list :).

This week, I will focus more on photography than writing since it’s a priority.

My horoscope says "Certainly you are ready for a greater spiritual understanding of the world now. ‘You need to experience more than the superficial banality of life that many people become mired in' [nicely put, lol]. Although you are inclined to idealize the world in general and certain persons in particular, in the long run you will find that this is not a delusion but a period of truly expanding knowledge." — interesting ...

Today, I went for:
3 persimmons
huge plateful of watermelon
banana
Isalean shake
3 small cookies
sashimi

No exercise tonight; but I must not skip meditation.

Nature's Allure

I took lots of pictures today, including the scarlet skimmer dragonfly above. My camera has become like a best friend ... like an appendage. Photography, especially nature photography, is an addiction, one that I can’t seem to get enough of …

I was feeling out of sorts today … neurotic. Toxic thoughts seem to seep in on occasion -- like today, and I feel so assaulted. I forget to breathe and forget that I have the power to change my thoughts. It’s paramount that I surround myself with beauty, as it plays a role toward a healthy mindset and has a pleasant domino effect. Beautiful surroundings, sounds, textures … everything that’s genuine. I think that’s why nature calls to me so. I was outside for awhile taking photos, and I experienced a sense of oneness and peace that I can get no other way.

I'm not a fan of small talk and superficial conversations. I prefer discussions of dreams and passions. Everything else feels like fluff. Having to endure small talk is still a challenge for me. I guess it can be foreplay toward deeper conversations. I prefer intimate conversations … soul bearing conversations. After that, companionable silence is just as golden.

I guess there’s so much fluff that already goes on in my head internally …

I just did a one hour work out. Getting physical also helps me achieve a serene mind. I think part of it is because I’ve earned the chance to relax. Sometimes I make myself crazy with the drive to always want to accomplish something. I feel like I’m cheating myself out of something crucial when a day goes by that I didn’t accomplishing at least one thing.

I discovered Youtube last night and “wow;” it has become my new evening companion.

Today, my intake was pretty simple:

2 fruit smoothies
3 raw organic fruit bars
1 shake

I'm going to spend the rest of the night cropping and editing some of today's shots and Youtube-ing it.

Here's Styx's Renegade --- there's something seductive about the badness of this song ... it's the yang of the yin/yang balance, I guess. May the legacy of Styx live on!

I lift My Eyes

I’m drinking my warm, cinnamon apple spice tea, wondering about all the gifts this day will hold for me.

My eyes itch and are watery. Cold symptoms, including physical weakness linger. Yesterday, I felt so bad I almost left work early. To "reward" myself for staying, I ate cookies coated in chocolate. Afterward, I felt bad and guilty because the effects of the refined sugar were immediate and didn’t help any prior cleansing attempts, but I tried not to think about it. I should’ve just rewarded myself with leaving early like I wanted, followed by TLC.

Another missed writer’s group meeting enabled to me to rest and find solace watching the season premier of Lost. I was so glued to the tube, which is so not me. But I guess I am when it comes to this show. It is the only time I find myself really looking forward to a night in front of the television. Well that’s not true, Ghost Whisperer comes in at a close second.

This cold has so kicked my ass and gotten me off routine. I will feel much better once I can get myself into a steady regimen of:

• meditating


• exercising


• photographing


• writing


• body brushing


• cleaning

I’m starting to get antsy because I have not been able to exercise, but I’m trying to listen to my body. Maybe if I did some light stretching or an easy yoga tape. Nah; that’s not me. I’m such an extremist sometimes. Knowing me, I’ll dive into an hour long, hardcore exercise.

It’s so sunny outside and it should reach a warm 80 degrees today. I am truly a child of the sun, as I love it so ... I brought my camera with me so I could take pictures in the park at lunch. I’ve been studying my photography book, but I don’t think any of it will really sink in until I get to do everything hands on.

For breakfast I had 3 persimmons, followed by a plateful of watermelon. Mmmmm. It feels good to eat "whole" foods, that have their life force fully intact. I’ll probably go to Jamba Juice later.

I’ve been listening to Olivia Newton-John lately; she so inspires me on many different levels. Her latest album, Grace and Gratitude, is so spiritual. I love it. She’s been my lifelong idol. I adored her back in the days when she sang "Have you Never Been Mellow." This was way before she became popular in Grease. I used to sit between the speakers, memorizing her album covers as I sang along with her to some perceived love at the sketchy age of 9 or 10.

I lift my eyes to the sun ... to love ... to yummy colors ... to smiles ... to laughter.

I must get to work now, but will try to write more later.